Doing basic things
Doing even the most basic thing is difficult. Showering, trying to lift and bend my knee, especially my left one, to get out of the shower is a slow process. I am basically popping it in and out of alignment with every step. The mere act of bending it grinds a little more bone. I have bone spurs, technical term is osteophytes, in both knees, medium to large in size. I have no cartilage left so any time walking is basically doing more permanent damage. Once in the shower raising my right arm to wash my hair, or shave my armpits hurts, trying to bend to shave my legs I feel like I am crushing my lung. Once I am done and have to get out of the shower there are days I am huffing and puffing because the muscle where the tumor is decides to spasm and either I am so much pain I can't breathe or it is literally making it difficult for my diaphragm to function properly. Once I get out of the shower, have popped my knee into place and dry off I need to sit down, let all the muscles relax, catch my breath and recline so I am not trying to maintain the muscle strength to sit up straight. This is usually when I enjoy a cup of coffee and watch the local morning news for the weather forecast, go through emails and my social media. By the time I am done the pain has usually subsided enough that I can get dressed and start getting my bag ready for work.
Getting dressed is challenging some days, first thing first is putting on a bralette or sports type bra, I can no longer tolerate any sort of regular bra, even soft cup no wire ones because the bands are too tight and the location of my tumor means the band irritates the living hell out of it. So I try to find ones that will keep things relatively in line. Then top and pants. Pants are fun if I try to do it standing up, so usually start sitting down and then stand and pull them the rest of the way on. Footwear, forget anything that doesn't slide on easily. But also needs some cushioning because of the knees. Oh and did I mention in a size 12 womens? And I am on a budget so don't want to pay more than $40 when it gets absolutely impossible to wear the current pair of whatever and they need to be replaced.
Now that I am up again it is time to brush teeth, comb and get my hair in order grab my bag and head out to the van. Grab my badge, cane and water and out the door I go. Getting in is slow, get the right leg which is more stable in and then wriggle the left leg, which sometimes I physically have to lift into the car but most days I can manage to raise it in. The seat belt which is necessary is another source of pain all the way to work, and goddess help me if any idiot hits the breaks quickly where I have to stomp on mine and have that lovely jerking motion.
Get to work and have the long arduous walk to the elevators to go up one floor to the office. Lately I can make it and not sound like I have run back to back marathons, though tomorrow I am fairly certain will not be one of those days. By now the dull aching has become constant, and I make it in to the office and sit down for a few minutes, let the knees relax and again the abdominal muscle get a break of sorts. Some days I decide to go down to the cafeteria to see if anything there interests me in the way of breakfast or not. I have come to the realization I really can't do bread in large quantities or too often, when it hits my stomach it hurts, personally I think the tumor is causing a certain restriction on the lower end of the stomach and causing problems when it tries to empty. Flat breads, pita, naan, and tortillas don't seem to cause as many issues. Large amounts of lettuce etc also seems to cause problems, potatoes other than mashed and those only in small quantities makes things worse.
Today I took my twins to run a few errands, I am now paying the price of that. The pain in the rib cage is more intense than it was this morning. Breathing is now painful and trying to sit up straight is out of the question. I wish I could do more at once, like I used to but I just can't. We went to the grocery store and Walmart, I did too much walking and now want to just cry. I am tired, hurting and debating if I take a Vicodin tonight.
Getting dressed is challenging some days, first thing first is putting on a bralette or sports type bra, I can no longer tolerate any sort of regular bra, even soft cup no wire ones because the bands are too tight and the location of my tumor means the band irritates the living hell out of it. So I try to find ones that will keep things relatively in line. Then top and pants. Pants are fun if I try to do it standing up, so usually start sitting down and then stand and pull them the rest of the way on. Footwear, forget anything that doesn't slide on easily. But also needs some cushioning because of the knees. Oh and did I mention in a size 12 womens? And I am on a budget so don't want to pay more than $40 when it gets absolutely impossible to wear the current pair of whatever and they need to be replaced.
Now that I am up again it is time to brush teeth, comb and get my hair in order grab my bag and head out to the van. Grab my badge, cane and water and out the door I go. Getting in is slow, get the right leg which is more stable in and then wriggle the left leg, which sometimes I physically have to lift into the car but most days I can manage to raise it in. The seat belt which is necessary is another source of pain all the way to work, and goddess help me if any idiot hits the breaks quickly where I have to stomp on mine and have that lovely jerking motion.
Get to work and have the long arduous walk to the elevators to go up one floor to the office. Lately I can make it and not sound like I have run back to back marathons, though tomorrow I am fairly certain will not be one of those days. By now the dull aching has become constant, and I make it in to the office and sit down for a few minutes, let the knees relax and again the abdominal muscle get a break of sorts. Some days I decide to go down to the cafeteria to see if anything there interests me in the way of breakfast or not. I have come to the realization I really can't do bread in large quantities or too often, when it hits my stomach it hurts, personally I think the tumor is causing a certain restriction on the lower end of the stomach and causing problems when it tries to empty. Flat breads, pita, naan, and tortillas don't seem to cause as many issues. Large amounts of lettuce etc also seems to cause problems, potatoes other than mashed and those only in small quantities makes things worse.
Today I took my twins to run a few errands, I am now paying the price of that. The pain in the rib cage is more intense than it was this morning. Breathing is now painful and trying to sit up straight is out of the question. I wish I could do more at once, like I used to but I just can't. We went to the grocery store and Walmart, I did too much walking and now want to just cry. I am tired, hurting and debating if I take a Vicodin tonight.
Comments
Post a Comment